EPISODE 10: OKJA!

[DAY 14]

*loud squealing and whining can be heard outside*

 Kaitlin: "Huh...?"

~ ~ ~

Kaitlin: "Hmmm.... It's raining?"

Kaitlin: "Eva! Good morning."
Eva: "Magandang umaga. Squealing wake you too?"
Kaitlin: "Yup."

Eva: "Wonder what it could be?"

 ~ ~ ~



 Eva: "I don't hear it anymore?"

Kaitlin: "Neither do- Oh, wait, behind you! I see something moving!!"

Eva: "Huh? What is it?"
Kaitlin: "I think it's a..."

Kaitlin & Eva: "...PIGLET??"

Eva: "Who's pig is this?!"
Kaitlin: "Hell if I know! Hey- what does that paper say?"

Eva: "Where? Oh. Let's see.... It says:
'I saved this precious little girl from a factory farm last night.
Please care for her until I can find her a proper loving home.
-K' "

Eva: "Poor girl! She must be so cold."
Kaitlin: "Let's get her inside and dry her up."

~ ~ ~



 Eva: "C'mon bobo thing!"

Kaitlin: "What ever happened to your 'magical' capabilities, eh?"
Eva: "I'm not a pyro or a dragon, if that's what you're asking."

Eva: "...THERE! That spark shall do. For now. We are going to need more wood eventually, but we can get Giles or Paul to do that."

Kaitlin: "Why rely on men for so much? You're a strong enough woman, aren't you?"

Eva: "Darling, my strength IS getting men to do my dirty work for me.... The sweeter the honey, the deadlier the trap, after all. Do you not see that's how I work?"
Kaitlin: "I do, and I don't approve."
Eva: "And why is that?"

Kaitlin: "It gives the image that women cannot be independent, as if they depend on men."

Eva: "Do not question my independence just because I occasionally lay with a man. Surely, I can live without men, but why torture myself?"

Kaitlin: "Ha! Don't you understand? Torture IS men."

 

*A sudden flash of lightning tears through the morning sky as thunder rumbles throughout 
The Green House*

*The piglet squeals and whimpers*

Kaitlin: "We need a name for this baby girl. After all, she's our house pet for now."
 

Eva: "Hmmm....."

 Eva: "How about Okja?"
Kaitlin: "Oakjah?"
Eva: "Yes, Okja. Spelled O-k-j-a. It was my great-grandmother's name. It means 'Lover of Nature's Mysteries'. Fun to say, too."

 Kaitlin: "Fine. Okja it is! Let's find you some food you can eat Okja, you must be starving!!"
*Okja oinks in agreement*

EVA:

"Oh Diyos ko. It's chilly here in Norway. I know 13 degrees is far from freezing, but I'm used to temperatures closer to 30 degrees. Even New York wasn't as bad. If this keeps up, the ladies might freeze off. We wouldn't want that, after all.
Eva chuckles slightly.
Now, I wonder if this place has any good books on Norway's history. Maybe I could ask Agent K herself about the topic..."

WIL:
"Man, I trust Maya... Valentina?... 100%. Even more so after she opened up to me last night about her story and true self. I respect her and I'm happy to get to know both the person she is now and the person she used to be. She's such an awesome chick! She's beyond interesting to talk to and get to know and she's smoking hot. Honestly, I'm reluctant to say it, but the more I get to know her the more I start to think she's someone I wouldn't mind dating beyond this show."

PACCO: 
"What Maya and Wil were talking about last night... Definitely a personal secret which I should protect at any cost, no matter what. I could use it for my game, however.... You see, I don't really suspect Wil and Maya that much. So if I could show that they can trust me by promising them that I'm not going to tell anyone, then we maybe could form a coalition. 6 eyes see more than 2, huh? Now let's hope that neither of them is one of the Spies......"

Pacco: "Hey guys."

Maya: "Hey!"
Wil: "How goes it?"

Pacco: "I just wanted to let the both of you know, that last night I heard a part of your conversation."

 Maya: "...Oh. So you know?"
Pacco: "About your true identity? Yes."

 Wil: "Look dude, if you tell ANYONE about this, I swear that I will--"

 Maya: "Wait Wil, it's fine. The cameras caught my confession anyway, no doubt they will exploit my story in order to achieve a more interesting episode. So everyone here will find out soon enough ANYHOW."

Wil: "They can't show it though! That's violating your privacy AND your safety. You could sue them if they do air it, and I'm sure the WPP or whatever it's called will back you up."

 

Maya: "It's OK Wil, really. They have the right to air whatever they want, we practically signed our life away the moment the cameras started rolling, and you and I and everyone else knew that. I accepted the risk that I might be exposed before coming here. But it's really no issue at all; I will just have to make a new alias for myself after the show. Cut my hair to a new style, dye it a different color, get a new name, new everything. This time maybe I’ll get to pick a job I ACTUALLY enjoy… I’ll move somewhere else, be someone else...."

Wil: "Hm. Where in the entire world would you want to move? And no, you can't say Norway!!"

Maya: "Honestly... Not sure. I'm actually quite content in the United States, believe it or not."

Wil: “Sweet! So how about you join me in Wyoming?” :3

Maya: “Awe, you’re so cute Wil!” ^.^

 Pacco: "...AS I WAS SAYING... I have no intention of revealing your secret to anyone here. I just wanted to say how brave you are for testifying against those baddies in the first place, and now you are living a completely new life that isn't your own. And it's also very interesting to note the history of false identities on this show! There's been quite a number of them over the seasons."

Wil: "Oh right! Like Morgan from last season. Or that one woman... Nocturne. Second season she pretended to be Courtney, huh?"

Pacco: "....Yes. No? Was that a question? I-I'm not sure, uhm... lemme think...... I... Sor-sorry, my headache seems to have....... Euhhh...."

Wil: "Er. You okay dude?"
Pacco: ".....Dude? Do I LOOK like a 'dude' to you, you worthless mortal?!"
Maya: "What's going on."

Pacco: "YOU tell ME, Miss Violet. What precisely IS your magical capabilities, exactly? You purple witches are incredibly hard to predict, so tell me, why shouldn't I obliterate you RIGHT NOW!?"

Wil: "...Oh. I see what's happening! You're doing an impression of Evarrine! Haha, funny, although I don't remember her having a false identity? Unless she was a sane person the entire time, which is what the viewers were secretly hoping for, buuuuut... Never happened."

Pacco: ".........Have you guys seen that lady Rosina?! She is SO mean to me and everyone else in this place! I cannot stand her anymore, she is the WORSTEST! I hope she goes bye-bye executed soon, don't you!?"

Maya: "Ooh, ooh! You're Remy! Do another!"
Pacco: ".....Ack. My-my head is starting to-- erm. I-I........
I am REALLY thankful to finally be in a house, rather than stuck on a fucking ISLAND with a bunch of fucking MORONS, but--"

Wil: "ADRIAN! I guess Adrian! Hehe, keep going!!"
Maya: "Yeah, these impersonations are fun!! Who knew you were such an actor, Pacco??"

Pacco: "I'm glad you noticed, hotstuff. People don't know that about me, but it's true! Back in the day I was quite the star-- pornstar, that is. All that Hollywood BS bored me, I needed something a bit more... exciting, heehee. Say, if you ever need a job, I can get you into the industry as a fluffer- and NO, I am NOT talking about that stupid cat of Taiha's!" >:(

Maya: "Ew. You must be Kenneth! He was the absolute WORST."

Pacco: "................"
*Pacco gestures to his head, implying he's in great pain*

Maya: "Uhm, I'm not sure.... Wil is he acting or being serious? I can't tell. Pacco! Is your migraine coming back?"

*Pacco begins pounding on his forehead, suggesting excruciating pain*

 Wil: "I think something might actually be wrong. Unless he's doing an impersonation of Ambrose? She was a mime and he's being completely silent despite his apparent pain. Pacco? Hey, Pacco!! What's up buddy? Are you--"

 Pacco: "I-I-I..... can-can't feel my...... I th-think I need to r-rest ansleee--~"

Wil: "PACCO!"

Maya: "Oh my!"

Wil: "Those headaches of his were more serious than we thought. Can we get some medics over here?? Maya, let's try and lift him onto my wheelchair and bring him to his bed.... Maya?"
Maya: "What....? S-sorry.... Yes. That's a good idea. Let's do that. Holy guacamole. I hope he'll be OK."

[DAY 15]

The Gov: "Gaaargh! Work you stupid fucking piece of Japanese technology, why won't you pick up a god-damned signal?!"
*Coughs loudly*

*A weird beeping noise followed by severe interference echoes from the phone*

The Gov: "Hello! HELLO!?"
 *He waves the phone in the air*

The Gov: "Can you hear me now?"

Muffled Distorted Voice: "GoOd, wE HaVE oo- StRonng SIgnul nOw."
 

The Gov: "About damn time. This is 'Big Bird'. I have something I wish to report to The Bureau, it's about my current location."
*Coughs*
 "In case you haven't noticed I'm in fucking Norway!"

Distorted voice: "THE TraCKeer On Your MObile DeeviCE ActIvATED Thehe mOmeNT you lEft U.S AIr spACe, We Arre aWare OF yOuR cuRReNt LocaLocation 'Big Bird'."
The Gov: "Oh well that's just great, you didn't say in the contract I'd have to go to dreaded Europe, that wasn't part of our deal, you government funded swine!"

Distorted voice: "You haVEve BEEn inStRuCtED to gO wherE The SHoW goes, To REpoRt Any NeW InfoinforINFOrmAtIon, To InfiltrATE aND OBSERVE!"

The Gov: "Well for your information, I HAVE been observing you idiot! We have a new host. Some K woman, Karmen something something or whatever her name is..."
Distorted voice: "ThThat inForMation is USeless."

The Gov: "Well sorry I cannot be more useful to you, it's not like I'm an actual field agent is it? I don't speak fucking Norweegie do I? You hire a balding, overweight politician and you GET a balding, overweight politician! What the hell did you expect!?!"
 *Coughs angrily*

Distorted voice: "IT hAS beBEcOME clEaR THaT wE hAvE MisPlacplacED ouR tRust IN YoU To comPletetE ThIS MiSisSion AlONe, BeCAuSe Of THiS MiNOr oVeRsigHT wEwE HavE DeciDEd To AsSist In EvEry WaY wE Can, OnE oF OUr UnDerCovEr FifIeld OpERatiVes aT The AIrPort haS MananaGED To REplAce Your LUggAge WiTh A casE ConTainInG ThTHe BasIC tOOls you WIll neEd tO ComPletE yoUr MissiooN.
 Good Luck 'Big Bird'."
*end transmission*

 ~ That Afternoon ~


 


*The Governor is rummaging through his bag quietly as Tamela naps* 

*He opens up a secret compartment in his bag, revealing wire cutters, lock-picks, night vision goggles, and what appears to be a homemade smoke bomb*

*Tamela suddenly unleashes a blood-curdling scream*

The Gov: "AUHHHHHHH!!"

Tamela: "GET AWAY FROM ME! 
GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF ME YOU CREEPS!! 
SOMEONE HELP--!!!"

The Gov: "WOAH-woah!
 It's just me, Ms. Wakefield! I beg that you calm down immediately!!"

Tamela: "...Huh...?! OH... Oh, well, I..... I-I don't know whu-....... I'm so sorry. Just had a bad dream is all.... But it felt so.... incredibly vivid. I was just walking home when suddenly these men grabbed me and-- Wait. Did I scream out loud?"

 The Gov: "Yes. Yes you did. And you scared the living daylights out of me, if I may add."

Tamela: "Oh my god, I am so embarrassed!"

 The Gov: "Hey, er.... Can we just agree right now that you didn't see anything?"
Tamela: "See what?"
The Gov: "Yes, precisely! Now THAT'S the spirit, Ms. Wakefield!"

Tamela: "...Huh?"

*Paul tentatively knocks on the bathroom door*

Paul: "Anyone in there?"
Giles: "Feel free to come in, bud!"

Paul: "Are you decent?"
Giles: "Golly, I hope I'm a decent enough guy."
Paul: "Alright, I am now entering!"

Paul: "Sorry to intrude, but I'm second on the shower list and don't want to hold up the line. Being late to the Execution Ceremony is NEVER a good-"

Paul: "-OH SWEET LORD BABY JESUS ON A STICK!"

Paul: "I am SO immensely sorry!"

Giles: "Paul, you're overreacting! It's fine, I am comfortable with my body, and besides, have you never seen a dude naked before??"

 Paul: "Erm.... Not really. I haven't exactly lived a conventional life as an orphaned teenager."
Giles: "Not even in straight porn...?"

Paul: "Of course not! Viewing such explicit material is STRICTLY forbidden!!"
Giles: "Well, you can turn around now, I put a towel on."

Paul: "....Good."

 
Giles: "Say. What happened the other day? You never showed up to the study group, and you actually had a full audience for once! Did you forget?"

Paul: "No, I definitely did not forget."
 Giles: "Sooo.... what? You just weren't feeling Jesus that day?"
Paul: "THAT, that right there is the reason why."
Giles: "How so?"

Paul: "The constant condescension. The forever-flowing out-pour of negativity and jokes coming from people like you and Brother David. I'm sick of it, REALLY sick of it! I was there, and HEARD you ALL talking shit behind my back!! I decided right then and there that the scripture study group was canceled. I'm beginning to question if I should even continue with my Mission in general. No one cares or listens. I've wasted SO much time and money and resources trying to lead ignorant people into the light with me, but I've had zero success. ZERO. Not one person. Not ONE DAMN PERSON HAS EVER OPENED THEIR  EYES AND MIND TO the God-forsaken TRUTH!!!"

 Giles: "Dang. Now tell me how you actually feel.... Hehe never mind, just a joke."

Paul: "...."

Giles: "Er... right. I am sorry to hear you've been struggling with all this, I had no idea. I don't think the game is helping either, the stress is even getting to me, and that's saying something. I'm sure you are just experiencing extra anxiety from tonight's Execution."
Paul: "Unlikely. I'm using my Exemption tonight."
Giles: "Oh."

 Giles: "Welp, in either case, I'll get out of your hair. I can already hear Kaitlin bitching about how men take too long in the bathroom nowadays. And she would have a point, admittedly, but you have to factor in how guys our age need to release every so often, if you catch my drift." ;-)
Paul: "I do. And privacy would be good now, thanks."
Giles: "On my way out, sir."

Giles: "Okja! You little rascal! Who let you inside the house?!"

~ ~ ~

 Paul: "Auhhhh...."

Giles: "Oh shit, I forgot my clothes!"

Giles: "Don't mind me, just getting my clothes."
*Paul moans out of pleasure*

Giles: "Woah, are you okay dude-- OH boy!"

 Paul: "AAUGH!"

Paul: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?!"

Giles: "Hehe, sorry to interrupt! Just grabbing my clothes. Don't let me stop you."

Paul: "Do you not know how to knock?!"
 

Giles: "I only needed to step in for a second. We're both men, what's the big deal? Plus, you walked in on me first, remember? Hahaha."

Paul: "Mine was unintentional. You're the one spying on me!"

Giles: "Spying on you?! Dude, I thought you were hurting yourself or something. How was I supposed to know you were yanking the pig in there?"

Paul: "Yanking the.... what? I'm not sure what Okja has to do with exercising in the shower...."

 Giles: "Ha! Yeah, 'exercising', let's go with that. Whatever makes you masturbate better at night, dude."

 Paul: "Grrr... I was doing no such blasmephous thing!"
Giles: "No?"
Paul: "NO!"
Giles: "Then why were you moaning?"

Paul: "I, er....  You see, I have this rare genetic disease where I get, erm... rashes! Rashes and hives all over my body. Hot water irritates it, so I was just scratching my-"
Giles: "-penis?"

Paul: "Errr...... Yes?"

 *Giles gasps dramatically*

Giles: "Oh NOOO!! That man is touching himself! How disturbingly inappropriate! Such blasphemy! 

Send that damn sinner to the gates of HELL!"

Giles: "....I'm obviously kidding with you, man. It's normal and acceptable to do. Everyone needs a good wank now and again. I'd be MUCH more worried if you WEREN'T doing it....
Sometimes I think you're brainwashed beyond repair. I'm legit concerned for you Paul."

Paul: "I do not need your concern, thank you very much. YOU should be the one concerned with your promiscuous behavior, Brother Giles. I just hope God doesn't judge you too harshly because of it.
Now please, will you just get your clothes and go?"

Giles: "Already on my way out. I'll leave you to finish your 'business'."

*Paul sighs heavily*

K: "Velkommen to your 4th Execution Ceremony, Agents."

K: "Now, before you enter, now's your chance to excuse yourself via Exemption. Elder Nugent here is the last remaining player to hold his Exemption earned from the Codename Twist.
Additionally: If you are using Armor, you should be secretly wearing it right now, and if you're wearing a full suit, you are immune tonight.
So, Elder; are you using your exemption tonight?"

Paul: "As a matter of fact, I am. I've held onto it long enough, and it expires after our stay here in Norway anyway, so I am officially using it tonight."

 K: "SPEAKING of the Codename Twist... A side objective was vying for first place, which guaranteed you a Bodyguard during the vacation destination.
 I can now confirm that MAYA is the lucky recipient of this reward. That means, regardless of her role as an Agent or Spy, she is completely safe during her stay here in Norway.
Maya, you and Elder may step aside during this ceremony."

Bodyguard: "Right this way, ma'am."
Maya: "I have a name, you know! ...Actually, wait, no I don't."

K: "Everyone else... Please enter.... If you dare." ;-}

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K: "Tonight, we shall begin with...."

K: "Giles."

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K: "Eva."

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Eva: "Sumpa ng diyos!"

K: "Sadly, Eva, you have been Executed. Time to go."

 

 Eva: "Wait. Giles, darling. Come find me when this is all over. I think we can still have some fun of our own." ;-)

Eva: "Paalam sa lahat: Goodbye to all."

K: "Why Eva, you ask?
 She is the precise definition of 'exotic' and 'mystical', two qualities we were lacking in this year's cast. We knew she'd add a lot of intrigue and romance into the show, as well as a bit of entertainment with her bag of tricks.
She also belongs to a province with a very long history and rich culture, and her clan is known in the area to be well-versed in the local folklore, and even rumored to be imbued with magical abilities. For these reasons and more, we figured she had the potential to become Fan Favorite along the likes of Throvan from Season 4."

K: "Oh gee. It appears Thor is weeping at the loss of Eva; this storm is only getting worse!
Time to send you all back to the Green House immediately."

K: "But first: Congratulations are in order to everyone still remaining in the competition; you have all just reached the halfway point! 15 days in, just 15 more to go till the finale.

 Keep up the great work, Agents! And remember to always keep your wits about you."

K: "Now. Who wants to earn some good karma by helping me down from here?!"

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