MAYA:
“Oh my God, I’ve been itchin’ to get in here. So first up, that mission
was a pain in my ass. Of all people they pick me to go God knows where
digging through evidence? Do you know how bad old orange juice smells?
Anyway, I needed a long nap after that, like three days or so. Oh, and
don’t even get me started on the people in this place either. Like,
Paul, for instance? He does not shut up! I think I’m gonna start
worshiping Satan just to freak him out. Then there’s Tamela who acts
like she’s POSSESSED by Satan, or at least when we first got here. But I
mean, not everyone is insane. Maddie’s cool, and the cripple is kinda
cute, but it’s too early to tell. Whatever, I should probably get back
to doing absolutely nothing. It’s tough work, and someone has to do it.”
V: "RISE 'N SHINE, AGENTS!"
V: "PLEASE GATHER IN THE LOBBY, WHERE FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS AWAIT."
Maddie: "Yeah, I agree! I'm really diggin' the cast this season. Everyone seems so cool and interesting!"
Zelinda: "True, with maybe ONE exception-"
Zelinda: "-the Fabio of the season has to be SOMEONE, and I'm to believe he's in this elevator with us..."
Pacco: "Huh?..." *he closes his eyes and shakes his head* "It'd be an HONOR to be so, Zelinda. Statistically..."
Tamela: "Oh dear..."
*Pacco keeps rambling about statistics and data*
Zelinda: "Oh, shut up Beau Smart!"
Pacco: "............."
Pacco: "... Why did you yell at me?"
Zelinda: "Becau-"
Pacco: "Have I done something wrong...?"
Zelinda: "You were annoying."
Pacco: "...Sorry..."
PACCO:
"... Zelinda... I don't understand her problem with me. She's just yelling at me and I don't even know why, and it's just making me tired and giving me a bit of a headache.... better try and avoid her for the day."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
V: "Each of you are currently seated at a table, and before you lies your exam, and a few writing utensils."
V: "I will be your Invigilator for this Exam. I will be monitoring your progress.
V: "The individual who scores the highest in this activity may earn the 'Elusive Exemption'.
"Now, before we begin, you should be aware of these 5 rules:
-If you address the Invigilator, you will be DISQUALIFIED.
-If you read off another Agent's paper, you will be DISQUALIFIED.
-If you damage or blemish your own paper, you will be DISQUALIFIED.
-If you touch the Guard, you will be DISQUALIFIED.
-If your body leaves this room, you will be, you guessed it... DISQUALIFIED.
"The method you typically use to add points to the group pot still applies.
In an effort to gain more information to better sabotage the group's efforts in this mission, the Spies attempted to hack HQ again. They were unable to learn anything about the actual Exam, but managed to discover how points are lost."
V: "The examination starts now.... You may flip over your paper and begin."
[99% OF DIALOGUE WAS WRITTEN BY THE CREATORS IN THIS MISSION. EVERYONE ESSENTIALLY ROLE PLAYED THEIR SIM FOR THIS CHALLENGE]
*everyone flips over their exam*
ALL: "....."
Eva: What the...this paper says almost nothing. This is so vague. Are we supposed to just guess what to write?
Giles: Haha. This is a joke, right? This is a joke, right.
Wil: *sighs* Exams? Again... Gee... At least it's blank, right. How badly can we fuck it up?
Eva: Well, I suppose there's no point complaining. As long as we don't break the rules, we should be okay, dear.
Giles: Ooh, I'm already loving this 'mission'. You know what, I'll be sure to use this next time I'm on stage.
Hmm..."So, I was competing in this competition, and they handed me an essentially blank piece of paper...Good luck on your Exams, they said." Haha.
Eva: So are we supposed to write about someone? Can we even ask each other? I remember kids who tried talking during exams being severely punished.
And are we allowed to talk to the guard? It says we can't touch him, but talking might be a different matter altogether.
Giles: We can't share our papers or anything like that. We're alone for that.
I assume that means we can't even discuss what's written down, either.
Pacco: Guys, what do you think we have to do to earn points?
Ben: That's the tricky part here, they did mention a question but I can't see one, unless it's on the back of the paper again and I'm missing that out as in my history test in 6th grade.
Pacco: One of the rules claims that we're not allowed to leave the room. Do you think we ARE allowed to walk around without leaving the room? Maybe we can find something in here to help us!!
Wil: So, any plans? Maybe there are questions hidden around the room?
Pacco: Good idea. This Mission reminds me of the pirate escape room from Season 3 now. We should investigate and such. Who's with me?!
Giles: The room is quite bare, except our desks and a few other electronic items. Knowing this show, there wouldn't be much luck there.
Anything strapped underneath the chairs?
*Pacco looks under his chair, while uttering something about the Mole's Accomplice*
Pacco: Hey guys, I got a match! It IS like Season 3!
Paul: *stares at the television screen*
*the television screen stares back*
*Wil finds a white crayon stuck to his wheel*
Wil: Haha... We've descended into kindergarten... This is a child's exam!
Giles: Uh...what is this? Why is there yellow liquid under my chair? Uh...
*Everyone begins to check underneath their chair, and murmurs what they found, plus what it could mean...
These are the 12 items found:
Kaitlin: Hmmm...
Paul: Er- are we allowed to do that? Wait, sister Kaitlin, I don't think... Huh? What's that? :O
*Kaitlin reads out the message*
"To my lovely Lila
A poem reminiscent of your shampo
Roses are re
Violets are blu"
(Rest is unreadable)
Pacco: "Blu... as in, TigerBlu? ..... *everyone stares at Pacco, confused* ..... Giles' creator anyone? ...... No? Ok, heheh ... I must be the exception here then, only one who can see the fourth dimension.
*https://youtu.be/ ofFCb2modMk*
Kaitlin: "Pacco. Stop breathing down my neck. Thanks."
Ben: Hhhm, is that from Futurama for any instance? Kinda seems like it.
Pacco: It seems the last letter per line is missing... O, D, E....
Could the Lila end on a C, by any chance? That'd make CODE!
Maya: Dude, Pacco, that's fucking genius. The chick's name could be Lilac. I like you. You've got brains.
Eva: So what do you dears make of all the things we've gotten so far? A few matchsticks. Some poem. This...lemon. A bunch of other random 'liquids'...
*Zelinda shrugs*
Tamela: Beats me.
Eva: *writes down insights on paper, including what has happened so far, the items they've received, and what she knows about everyone's names*
Guard: "Please come with me."
Eva: "What? Wh-what did I do?!! Take those.... strong, big arms... OFF ME! NOW!"
Maddie: "Wait! What rule did she break??"
Wil: Eva?! You can't take her! What the hell?! Why give us paper if we can't write on it!? What kinda stupid exam is this?!
Zelinda: Not a normal one that is.
Maya: Umm.... Guys... Don't write on your papers. Like. At All.
Pacco: "Huh?..." *he closes his eyes and shakes his head* "It'd be an HONOR to be so, Zelinda. Statistically..."
Tamela: "Oh dear..."
*Pacco keeps rambling about statistics and data*
Zelinda: "Oh, shut up Beau Smart!"
Pacco: "............."
Pacco: "... Why did you yell at me?"
Zelinda: "Becau-"
Pacco: "Have I done something wrong...?"
Zelinda: "You were annoying."
Pacco: "...Sorry..."
PACCO:
"... Zelinda... I don't understand her problem with me. She's just yelling at me and I don't even know why, and it's just making me tired and giving me a bit of a headache.... better try and avoid her for the day."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
V: "Good morning, Agents."
V: "Each of you are currently seated at a table, and before you lies your exam, and a few writing utensils."
V: "I will be your Invigilator for this Exam. I will be monitoring your progress.
As a group, you will be asked one question and one question only."
V: "The individual who scores the highest in this activity may earn the 'Elusive Exemption'.
What IS the Exam? Good question. This challenge is a replica of the one
that future candidates will take during the selection process in order
to be a UNCIS Agent, so keeping that in mind may help... or hinder your
performance."
"Now, before we begin, you should be aware of these 5 rules:
-If you address the Invigilator, you will be DISQUALIFIED.
-If you read off another Agent's paper, you will be DISQUALIFIED.
-If you damage or blemish your own paper, you will be DISQUALIFIED.
-If you touch the Guard, you will be DISQUALIFIED.
-If your body leaves this room, you will be, you guessed it... DISQUALIFIED.
"The method you typically use to add points to the group pot still applies.
In an effort to gain more information to better sabotage the group's efforts in this mission, the Spies attempted to hack HQ again. They were unable to learn anything about the actual Exam, but managed to discover how points are lost."
V: "The examination starts now.... You may flip over your paper and begin."
[99% OF DIALOGUE WAS WRITTEN BY THE CREATORS IN THIS MISSION. EVERYONE ESSENTIALLY ROLE PLAYED THEIR SIM FOR THIS CHALLENGE]
*everyone flips over their exam*
ALL: "....."
Eva: What the...this paper says almost nothing. This is so vague. Are we supposed to just guess what to write?
Giles: Haha. This is a joke, right? This is a joke, right.
Wil: *sighs* Exams? Again... Gee... At least it's blank, right. How badly can we fuck it up?
Eva: Well, I suppose there's no point complaining. As long as we don't break the rules, we should be okay, dear.
Giles: Ooh, I'm already loving this 'mission'. You know what, I'll be sure to use this next time I'm on stage.
Hmm..."So, I was competing in this competition, and they handed me an essentially blank piece of paper...Good luck on your Exams, they said." Haha.
Eva: So are we supposed to write about someone? Can we even ask each other? I remember kids who tried talking during exams being severely punished.
And are we allowed to talk to the guard? It says we can't touch him, but talking might be a different matter altogether.
Giles: We can't share our papers or anything like that. We're alone for that.
I assume that means we can't even discuss what's written down, either.
Pacco: Guys, what do you think we have to do to earn points?
Ben: That's the tricky part here, they did mention a question but I can't see one, unless it's on the back of the paper again and I'm missing that out as in my history test in 6th grade.
Pacco: One of the rules claims that we're not allowed to leave the room. Do you think we ARE allowed to walk around without leaving the room? Maybe we can find something in here to help us!!
Wil: So, any plans? Maybe there are questions hidden around the room?
Pacco: Good idea. This Mission reminds me of the pirate escape room from Season 3 now. We should investigate and such. Who's with me?!
Giles: The room is quite bare, except our desks and a few other electronic items. Knowing this show, there wouldn't be much luck there.
Anything strapped underneath the chairs?
*Pacco looks under his chair, while uttering something about the Mole's Accomplice*
Pacco: Hey guys, I got a match! It IS like Season 3!
Paul: *stares at the television screen*
*the television screen stares back*
*Wil finds a white crayon stuck to his wheel*
Wil: Haha... We've descended into kindergarten... This is a child's exam!
Giles: Uh...what is this? Why is there yellow liquid under my chair? Uh...
*Everyone begins to check underneath their chair, and murmurs what they found, plus what it could mean...
These are the 12 items found:
Matchstick
Matchstick
Matchstick
Can of Coco Cola
Vial of Urine
Squashed Lemon
White Crayon
Vial of Water
Red Food Coloring
Package of Q-tips
Empty Milk Carton
Used Candle*
Paul: Wait... did someone say they found a
matchstick? Plus we have a lemon?
*claps*
*claps*
Guys, why haven't we thought
about it? Just like what Wil's suggested! We should squish some lemon
juice on our paper and heat them with the lighted match and see if
anything shows up!! The oxidation of organic compounds such as citric
acid might reveal some secret messages on the paper!!
Kaitlin: Hmmm...
*Kaitlin inspects the light.... finds a piece of parchment wrapped up behind lightbulb*
Paul: Er- are we allowed to do that? Wait, sister Kaitlin, I don't think... Huh? What's that? :O
*Kaitlin reads out the message*
"To my lovely Lila
A poem reminiscent of your shampo
Roses are re
Violets are blu"
(Rest is unreadable)
Pacco: "Blu... as in, TigerBlu? ..... *everyone stares at Pacco, confused* ..... Giles' creator anyone? ...... No? Ok, heheh ... I must be the exception here then, only one who can see the fourth dimension.
*https://youtu.be/ ofFCb2modMk*
Kaitlin: "Pacco. Stop breathing down my neck. Thanks."
Ben: Hhhm, is that from Futurama for any instance? Kinda seems like it.
Pacco: It seems the last letter per line is missing... O, D, E....
Could the Lila end on a C, by any chance? That'd make CODE!
Maya: Dude, Pacco, that's fucking genius. The chick's name could be Lilac. I like you. You've got brains.
Eva: So what do you dears make of all the things we've gotten so far? A few matchsticks. Some poem. This...lemon. A bunch of other random 'liquids'...
*Zelinda shrugs*
Tamela: Beats me.
Eva: *writes down insights on paper, including what has happened so far, the items they've received, and what she knows about everyone's names*
Guard: "Please come with me."
Eva: "What? Wh-what did I do?!! Take those.... strong, big arms... OFF ME! NOW!"
Maddie: "Wait! What rule did she break??"
Wil: Eva?! You can't take her! What the hell?! Why give us paper if we can't write on it!? What kinda stupid exam is this?!
Zelinda: Not a normal one that is.
Maya: Umm.... Guys... Don't write on your papers. Like. At All.
Giles: So, no writing in a test? That's odd, really. Why give us paper and a pencil if we can't write? Maybe someone wanted us to think we could write and then, BAM! You're out.
Maya: An exam with no writing is DEFINITELY my kinda test. Unless it's one of those running tests in middle school, because fuck that.
Wil: A running test! That's my kinda test... Well... Nevermind.
Maya: Okay, dude, bummer. You can still use those legs right? All you need is a bit of physical therapy, and like, I'm no physical therapist, but I can talk you through some strengthening exercises. Of course I probably won't do them with you, but I'm good moral support.
Wil: Uh... Yeah. Damn right I can use these legs! I'm good, I just, uh.... I'm just having some difficulty, is all... but uh. Thanks. I guess. F-for the offer and the support and stuff.
Tamela: So, did anyone have more than a word or two on the back of their test? Are we supposed to talk about it?
Pacco: Hmm, we aren't allowed to read what other people's exams are saying.. Are we allowed to tell others ourselves though?... If we're 1 to 12, maybe this is some kind of Mastermind game?
Wait, what's this writing all about? Looks like graffiti?
Giles: "'We have sown the seeds of sin, This is our punishment'...?"
Zelinda: I don't think bible verses will help at this time.
Giles: "Neither do I, but what does it mean?"
Zelinda: "I dunno. Ask the zealot over there. He'll tell you."
Paul: "I have a NAME you know... And it's Elder Nugent."
Zelinda: "Elder Nugget, right. Sorry."
Paul: "No. Read my lips. NUGENT."
Zelinda: "Yes, Elder Nugget, what did I say?"
The Gov: *Walks up to the mirror and checks along the edges for a gap*
The Gov: This has got to be a two way mirror, Just like those interrogation scenes in movies. This is like that time I didn't file my taxes and the CIA took me in for...... *Coughs* Well you know.... Stuff.
*Adjusts glasses nervously*
Maya: "Indeed. It's a two-way. Notice how my fingers don't touch?"
The Gov: "Thought it was vice-versa?"
Maya: "It can be. But the reflection is off. You can sorta see behind the mirror, but without enough light, it's impossible to tell."
Zelinda: Is there some way to turn on the television? Because the television may show a question.
*NOTHING*
Paul: "Another dead end, I'm afraid. This isn't hooked up to electricity."
Maya: How about some of us harass this police officer? There's no rule against it. I say we tickle him until he talks.
The Gov: I tried to get his attention earlier Miss Hansen, But so far Security Joe over there won't accept bribes.
Kaitlin: We can't touch the guard but I'm sure we can talk to him...
What is in that room?
GUARD: Freedom.
Pacco: "Lies. Just like this entire mission!"
GUARD: You can check for yourself if you like. I smell sausages and omelettes, I assumed you did too.
Kaitlin: We need to get the question... And I think it must have to do with the guard...
Maddie: Hey! Has anyone looked around the lights by the mirror?
*Maya breathes heavily onto the mirror, fogging it up*
Maddie: "I'm too short to reach. Can someone help me?"
Kaitlin: "Yes, I will."
*Kaitlin inspects around the bulb, finds a purple arrow and rotates the cylinder*
Giles: Ooh, blacklight. I love that this room has blacklight - that's brilliant. I'm not wearing enough white for this, though.
Wil: Hmm... This blacklight is wicked, I wonder how this helps... Maybe it is a hindrance?
The Gov: With these blacklights, it's like something from CSI in here. Next thing you know we'll be looking for fingerprints with the Q-Tips.
Tamela: "Everyone, check your paper!"
Maya: "Already on it. There's a sentence forming on my paper!!"
Ben: "Nothing."
Tamela: "Same."
Kaitlin: "I got something..."
Pacco: "Drats! Haha, oh well. There must be another way to see the hidden message on mine?"
Giles: "This worked for me!"
The Gov: "Same here! ....Ooh. That's, erm... Interesting."
*After reading his paper, The Gov folds it neatly and places it in his top pocket for later*
Maya: Guys, let's light some shit on fire and set off the sprinklers. We have like, three matches.
Paul: And get soaked in water? I personally don't think starting a fire is a brilliant idea... what about you guys?
The Gov: Heck, it gets us out of this damn puzzle-room, doesn't it? I don't think praying for divine intervention is gunna help us much. *laughs and snorts*
Paul: I know it may sound hard for you to understand but prayers help us in many different ways. Prayers are meant to align our wills with that of our Heavenly Father's. We ought not to do something that God forbids us. Powerful prayers are more than what you thought them to be. for He is my fortress as I will not be shaken.
Kaitlin: "You know, there's something off with this lightbulb too..."
*she inspects around the edges, finds a switch; a chain falls from the ceiling*
*after pulling down on the chain, a ceiling tile opens and a device falls down*
Kaitlin: Woah! *jump out of the way*
Kaitlin: It's a tape recorder! *presses play*
"Trust only the Invigilator. Trust nothing and no one else.
The Invigilator tends to forget this Rule, however:
RULE #6: DO NOT PHYSICALLY HARM OTHER CANDIDATES"
The Gov: To me the creepy weirdo on the tape is telling us that we should watch our backs. I got this feeling that things are about to turn ugly...
*The blacklight shuts off, switching back to normal lighting*
Wil: "There. That's better."
Zelinda: "What is going on over here?? Are they slowly gassing us?!"
Paul: "Fortunately not. M&M are just taking a nap, Maya told me she couldn't sleep last night because someone was snoring too loud."
Zelinda: "Ah, I see, no thanks to BEN."
Ben: "Hey! I cannot help it!"
Giles: "I may have to join them soon. I'm used to sleeping on a ship, and that penthouse is far too rigid for me. I could hardly get any shut-eye, plus, I'm practically starving. Are they throwing a Survivor twist on us again?!"
Pacco: "I must admit, I like my beauty sleep as well. But you were such a gentleman last night, Giles. I can't complain! You didn't hog the bed like most men do."
Giles: "Oh... Do you share beds with men often?"
Pacco: "Hehehe, not often enough!"
Giles: "Amen!!"
Paul: *sighs heavily*
*Wil uses the match on the carpet to light it*
The Gov: Now what do we do? Hold hands in a candlelit vigil, sing a song and pray we get out of here? Hahar!
Paul: "...."
Wil: Nawh, I got a few ideas...
Firstly, I wanna set off the fire sprinklers. I think the water may
reveal something, hence why I have a vial of water and we have a lot of
liquids. I'm in a wheelchair so I can't ACTUALLY reach it. The only way
I'd be able to do it is to generate a lot of flames to get smoke, and
that's just too dangerous...
*the matchstick suddenly alights*
Wil: Success!!!
*the matchstick suddenly alights*
Wil: Success!!!
Pacco: I'll volunteer. Should I go and stand on the table?
*****
*smoke starts to form... The sprinkler system is set off across the room*
*Tamela picks up the immediate papers around her and puts them inside her bra, likewise, so does Kaitlin*
Guard: "Please come with me."
Pacco: "Wait, where's my paper?! GUYS, WHO TOOK MY PAPER?!?!"
Pacco: "That's not fair! Someone took my exam! I DIDN'T MEAN TO DAMAGE IT!!
IT'S NOT MY FAULT!"
Wil: "Quick, guys! Hide your paper before it gets permanent water damage! If you don't have a pocket I can keep it under my cushion!!"
*Maya stirs, confused by the commotion*
Maya: "What's going on?! WHY IS IT RAINING IN HERE??"
Kaitlin: "Hurry Maya! Save your exam!!"
*Amidst the confusion the Gov grabs the guard's Tazer-Gun*
Tamela: A taser gun?? What are you going to do with that, Gov?!
The Gov: I told you he was armed Ms. Wakefield, now WE are armed. The advantage is ours!
Tamela: *backs away slowly from Gov*
Tamela: What do you plan to do with that? Please stay away from me. I've done nothing to you.
Zelinda {whispering to Gov}: You need to hear this. The rules state that you cannot harm other candidates. Nothing was said about threatening to harm other people, like the guard... What if we threaten him? He won't know that we are not serious.
*The Gov hands the taser over to Zelinda*
Zelinda: Hello there, I have a question for you. I prefer that you answer honestly. After all, I have a taser in my hand. Do you know what the question is?
GUARD: I don't. I know only what you know. Nothing more, nothing less.
The Gov: "Good answer bud! That's my go-to when shit hits the fan: 'I dunno'."
Wil: Here, I got an idea, give me the taser.
Kaitlin: I have a better idea! Let's torture the guard until he gives us ANSWERS!
Wil: What, hell no! You can't do that!
Kaitlin: And why not?
Wil: You can't just go around torturing people, it's illegal!
Kaitlin: Just give it to me!
Wil: Over my dead body!
*Kaitlin wrestles the taser out of Wil's hands*
Wil: "Gah!"
*Wil speeds past her, forcing her against the wall, and catches the taser as she drops it*
Kaitlin: Hey! Give it BACK!!
Kaitlin: "YEAH YOU BETTER RUN-er, ROLL!"
*she grabs the coca-cola can*
Wil: OW!
Guard: "Please come with me."
Kaitlin: See! Look what you did!
Wil: Look what YOU did!! You hit me right in the head!
GUARD: Right this way, ma'am.
Maya: "The sprinklers! They're finally shutting off!"
*Grabs the match that she had previously found under her chair*
Paul: "You're right! HALLELUJAH!" *he takes off his coat and sneezes*
Maddie: "Bless you!"
Paul: "No, bless YOU for your kind heart! The rain is gone, and the birds are chirping!
'But for you who fear My name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings; and you will go forth and skip about like calves from the stall'!
...Malachi 4:2"
[The Guard goes outside, fetches a letter from the mailbox, and reads the following...]
"Hello, darlings. We're eating a delicious breakfast feast here right now. You can opt to join us instead of wracking your brains, or you can ask us for our thoughts and opinions. If you must know, my paper says "Agent 9" on it. Other than that, I don't know anything else.
Mind you that Pacco and I each have one note. Blurt out all the questions you'd like, and Pacco will use his note to let you know our thoughts.
Kisses,
Eva
I'm a pretty, pretty pink princess."
Wil: Maya... Can you set my paper alight. If it gets me eliminated, so be it.
Maya: I mean I'm the one doing it. There's no rule against destroying each other's paper... Sure, whatever, the sooner this mission is over the sooner I can get some pancakes and relaxation. Just tell me when.
[After applying heat to Wil's paper, a sentence begins to form, and he reads it before his paper is engulfed in flame. Maya is careful not to set fire to the remaining player's papers]
Zelinda: "I got something."
Maddie: "Ditto!"
Paul: "Huh. That's... interesting. Who's Agent 8?"
Tamela: "Still no message for me?"
Ben: "This is so rigged."
The Gov: "Nothing's as rigged as the elections, my friend!"
Ben: "Solch bullscheisse!"
Maddie: "What is he doing?"
Wil: "Escaping. Once and for all."
Wil: "My exam told me at least one source is lying to me, and to 'be careful whom you trust', so I trust only me, myself, and I to get out of this damn room."
Tamela: ...And there goes another DQ.
V: "Hello Wil."
Wil: "SHIT! WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU COME FROM?!"
V: "Please follow me. Breakfast and freedom await."
~ ~ ~
Pacco: "Hey mate! Welcome to...
THE BREAKFAST CLUB!"
Wil: "What... In the WORLD is going on here?!"
Eva: "Being disqualified wasn't as bad as it seemed, deary! In fact, it was fabulous; I've been sitting here, munching away on raspberry waffles and sweet sweet lemonade watching you buffoons fight and argue all morning!"
Kaitlin: "We also received a unique task; at the cost of the group pot, we can attempt to coax people into leaving the room by sending them a letter. For each person who leaves the room, either intentionally or unintentionally, everyone in here gets a piece of 'Armor'. Collect three pieces, and you get an exemption! And if you don't collect 3 by the end of the vacation stay, they can just be used as "reverse strikes" instead. Only Pacco and Eva here have a piece of Armor so far.
As for me, I just sent my letter! Let's watch how the group reacts to it!"
[The Guard reads aloud...]
"Hey, guys listen up? Do you hear it? Tick tock tick tock. There’s a bomb underneath one of the tables. I left it there before I went out. It was set to go off in an hour."
The Gov: I don't trust that guard, so I'm not listening to a word he says. And I'm not sure if I'm allowed to disclose what was on my paper, But I can tell you this, I believe I only have one part of a message. I think the other part is on someone else's paper.
Ben: What if all our papers together form 1 question?
Tamela: That's why I suggested earlier that we work on this together.
Mine says "AGENT 10:"
With the colon, which is why I thought it might go with something else.
The Gov: Mine said "Agent 2:" I believe we are numbered in the order of our seating arrangement, meaning Miss Hansen would be Agent 1 and Mr. Schiffer would be Agent 12.
Zelinda: Mine is Agent 8.
Paul: Ooh, is that it then? Mine's Agent 7.
Maya: You're right. I'm Agent 1.
The Gov: This further confirms my theory, I believe we each have a message or part of a message given to us that can only be discovered by a certain method. Some messages are revealed in the blacklight, I believe others may be revealed by candlelight, and others have to do with white ink, due to the milk and white crayon. The last 4 of you- the 3rd column- You should all try the red food dye on your paper, might show your secret message.
[Everyone tries the Governor's theory; sure enough, Agents 9-12 show text after food coloring dye is applied to the wet papers. Tamela is cautious to perform this on Ben's, Pacco's, and Eva's paper, and then Paul does the same to hers to ensure she doesn't have to blemish her own paper.
The group then gives Pacco's and Eva's exam to the Guard, who reads the message out loud, ensuring no one is disqualified for reading another Agent's paper]
Maya: I have an idea... It might just work. Everyone say the last letter of your hidden message. The poem missing its last letters might mean our last letters form a word in the order of our agent numbers!
*Everyone in the room reads off the very last letter of their message, and Maya writes it down*
Maya: "What was Kaitlin's message again?"
Giles: "'Do not trust anyone wearing khaki'"
Maya: "And Pacco's?"
The Gov: "'The Guard is the only person in your way'"
Maya: "And Eva's last word was 'thief'... Okay, this is coming together nicely... Ben, where are you? You're Agent 12 and your message ended with a question mark?"
Ben: "Indeed."
Maya: "Then this certainly must be THE QUESTION!"
Tamela: Wait... THE ANSWER IS ALBANY!!!
V: "That answer is..... CORRECT.
Congratulations, Agents.
This Exam is over."
V: "Nicely done, Agents. You figured out the question, which was "Capital of NY?".
The purpose of this entire mission was about working together as a TEAM, since that's what you are, after all. This is especially an important lesson for future candidates in the field, as our 'Guard' here would agree with, right Agent A?"
'Agent A': "Right. Hello everyone- I am NOT a guard NOR the Chef of the magnificent breakfast behind the mirror. I'm actually the architect and designer of this room and task. I work for the United Nations, and my task here is to weed out applicants who cannot work in a team environment. Individuals who break easily under stress, are selfish, cannot think critically, display signs of aggression, have poor communication skills, and who don't listen to authority are eliminated from the Application Process at this point.
Thinking critically, and thus, thinking BETWEEN THE LINES, or rules, in this case, was especially prominent. It was a slow evolution to realize you had full reign of the room. Due to schooling, you assumed you couldn't talk, touch each other's exams, walk around the room, etc, but in actuality, you needed to do ALL of these things. It is not what the Invigilator said- it's what she DIDN'T say that was the key here.
Thank you everyone for participating in the first official test-run of this examination. I consider this a mighty success!"
V: "I said points were earned in the typical manner, meaning: Working together as a group to get money into the GROUP Pot. You had to share information in this challenge, even when it seemed counter intuitive. The hidden messages on all your papers were meant to distract you and cause paranoia. You had to look past that, look BEYOND those lies and learn to share information, since that was the ONLY way you'd be able to find and solve the question.
As for everything hidden beneath your chairs- those were used to point you to the idea of invisible ink:
Everyone in the first column (Agents 1-4) had ink only visible by UV light.
Everyone in the second column (Agents 5-8) had ink that needed to be oxidized by heat.
Everyone in the third column (Agents 9-12) had white ink, which became visible through colored water."
*V inserts a key into the monitor, and the mirror inverts*
V: "Oh, and the disqualified agents? They are well, and they've been watching you the entire time while feasting away. We'll let them fill you in on their side of the story, but go ahead and wave!"
Giles: "You're shitting me."
Tamela: "I want food. NOW."
V: "You only lost 60 points out of a possible 180... Each DQ'd player removed 15 points from the Group Pot, meaning you added 120 points into it today. Not bad, Agents.
...And yes, you are free to leave the room now without being disqualified. Agent A here won't stop you."
Agent A: "Maybe I will... Some of these asshats were thinking about tazing me!"
V: "But you purposefully designed this test so that the tazer was harmless, so why fret?"
Agent A: "Doesn't matter whether or not it was actually harmful. Fact of the matter is, you got a bunch of sociopaths on your hands!"
V: "I suppose time will tell on that... Anyway. Prepare yourselves, Agents. Your very first Ranking AND Execution will commence in two days. See you all then."
* * *
*****
*smoke starts to form... The sprinkler system is set off across the room*
*Tamela picks up the immediate papers around her and puts them inside her bra, likewise, so does Kaitlin*
Guard: "Please come with me."
Pacco: "Wait, where's my paper?! GUYS, WHO TOOK MY PAPER?!?!"
Pacco: "That's not fair! Someone took my exam! I DIDN'T MEAN TO DAMAGE IT!!
IT'S NOT MY FAULT!"
Wil: "Quick, guys! Hide your paper before it gets permanent water damage! If you don't have a pocket I can keep it under my cushion!!"
*Maya stirs, confused by the commotion*
Maya: "What's going on?! WHY IS IT RAINING IN HERE??"
Kaitlin: "Hurry Maya! Save your exam!!"
*Amidst the confusion the Gov grabs the guard's Tazer-Gun*
Tamela: A taser gun?? What are you going to do with that, Gov?!
The Gov: I told you he was armed Ms. Wakefield, now WE are armed. The advantage is ours!
Tamela: *backs away slowly from Gov*
Tamela: What do you plan to do with that? Please stay away from me. I've done nothing to you.
Zelinda {whispering to Gov}: You need to hear this. The rules state that you cannot harm other candidates. Nothing was said about threatening to harm other people, like the guard... What if we threaten him? He won't know that we are not serious.
*The Gov hands the taser over to Zelinda*
Zelinda: Hello there, I have a question for you. I prefer that you answer honestly. After all, I have a taser in my hand. Do you know what the question is?
GUARD: I don't. I know only what you know. Nothing more, nothing less.
The Gov: "Good answer bud! That's my go-to when shit hits the fan: 'I dunno'."
Wil: Here, I got an idea, give me the taser.
Kaitlin: I have a better idea! Let's torture the guard until he gives us ANSWERS!
Wil: What, hell no! You can't do that!
Kaitlin: And why not?
Wil: You can't just go around torturing people, it's illegal!
Kaitlin: Just give it to me!
Wil: Over my dead body!
*Kaitlin wrestles the taser out of Wil's hands*
Wil: "Gah!"
*Wil speeds past her, forcing her against the wall, and catches the taser as she drops it*
Kaitlin: Hey! Give it BACK!!
Kaitlin: "YEAH YOU BETTER RUN-er, ROLL!"
*she grabs the coca-cola can*
Guard: "Please come with me."
Kaitlin: See! Look what you did!
Wil: Look what YOU did!! You hit me right in the head!
GUARD: Right this way, ma'am.
Maya: "The sprinklers! They're finally shutting off!"
*Grabs the match that she had previously found under her chair*
Paul: "You're right! HALLELUJAH!" *he takes off his coat and sneezes*
Maddie: "Bless you!"
Paul: "No, bless YOU for your kind heart! The rain is gone, and the birds are chirping!
'But for you who fear My name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings; and you will go forth and skip about like calves from the stall'!
...Malachi 4:2"
"Hello, darlings. We're eating a delicious breakfast feast here right now. You can opt to join us instead of wracking your brains, or you can ask us for our thoughts and opinions. If you must know, my paper says "Agent 9" on it. Other than that, I don't know anything else.
Mind you that Pacco and I each have one note. Blurt out all the questions you'd like, and Pacco will use his note to let you know our thoughts.
Kisses,
Eva
I'm a pretty, pretty pink princess."
Wil: Maya... Can you set my paper alight. If it gets me eliminated, so be it.
Maya: I mean I'm the one doing it. There's no rule against destroying each other's paper... Sure, whatever, the sooner this mission is over the sooner I can get some pancakes and relaxation. Just tell me when.
[After applying heat to Wil's paper, a sentence begins to form, and he reads it before his paper is engulfed in flame. Maya is careful not to set fire to the remaining player's papers]
Zelinda: "I got something."
Maddie: "Ditto!"
Paul: "Huh. That's... interesting. Who's Agent 8?"
Tamela: "Still no message for me?"
Ben: "This is so rigged."
The Gov: "Nothing's as rigged as the elections, my friend!"
Ben: "Solch bullscheisse!"
Maddie: "What is he doing?"
Wil: "Escaping. Once and for all."
Wil: "My exam told me at least one source is lying to me, and to 'be careful whom you trust', so I trust only me, myself, and I to get out of this damn room."
Tamela: ...And there goes another DQ.
V: "Hello Wil."
Wil: "SHIT! WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU COME FROM?!"
V: "Please follow me. Breakfast and freedom await."
~ ~ ~
Pacco: "Hey mate! Welcome to...
THE BREAKFAST CLUB!"
Wil: "What... In the WORLD is going on here?!"
Eva: "Being disqualified wasn't as bad as it seemed, deary! In fact, it was fabulous; I've been sitting here, munching away on raspberry waffles and sweet sweet lemonade watching you buffoons fight and argue all morning!"
Kaitlin: "We also received a unique task; at the cost of the group pot, we can attempt to coax people into leaving the room by sending them a letter. For each person who leaves the room, either intentionally or unintentionally, everyone in here gets a piece of 'Armor'. Collect three pieces, and you get an exemption! And if you don't collect 3 by the end of the vacation stay, they can just be used as "reverse strikes" instead. Only Pacco and Eva here have a piece of Armor so far.
As for me, I just sent my letter! Let's watch how the group reacts to it!"
[The Guard reads aloud...]
"Hey, guys listen up? Do you hear it? Tick tock tick tock. There’s a bomb underneath one of the tables. I left it there before I went out. It was set to go off in an hour."
The Gov: I don't trust that guard, so I'm not listening to a word he says. And I'm not sure if I'm allowed to disclose what was on my paper, But I can tell you this, I believe I only have one part of a message. I think the other part is on someone else's paper.
Ben: What if all our papers together form 1 question?
Tamela: That's why I suggested earlier that we work on this together.
Mine says "AGENT 10:"
With the colon, which is why I thought it might go with something else.
The Gov: Mine said "Agent 2:" I believe we are numbered in the order of our seating arrangement, meaning Miss Hansen would be Agent 1 and Mr. Schiffer would be Agent 12.
Zelinda: Mine is Agent 8.
Paul: Ooh, is that it then? Mine's Agent 7.
Maya: You're right. I'm Agent 1.
The Gov: This further confirms my theory, I believe we each have a message or part of a message given to us that can only be discovered by a certain method. Some messages are revealed in the blacklight, I believe others may be revealed by candlelight, and others have to do with white ink, due to the milk and white crayon. The last 4 of you- the 3rd column- You should all try the red food dye on your paper, might show your secret message.
[Everyone tries the Governor's theory; sure enough, Agents 9-12 show text after food coloring dye is applied to the wet papers. Tamela is cautious to perform this on Ben's, Pacco's, and Eva's paper, and then Paul does the same to hers to ensure she doesn't have to blemish her own paper.
The group then gives Pacco's and Eva's exam to the Guard, who reads the message out loud, ensuring no one is disqualified for reading another Agent's paper]
Maya: I have an idea... It might just work. Everyone say the last letter of your hidden message. The poem missing its last letters might mean our last letters form a word in the order of our agent numbers!
*Everyone in the room reads off the very last letter of their message, and Maya writes it down*
Maya: "What was Kaitlin's message again?"
Giles: "'Do not trust anyone wearing khaki'"
Maya: "And Pacco's?"
The Gov: "'The Guard is the only person in your way'"
Maya: "And Eva's last word was 'thief'... Okay, this is coming together nicely... Ben, where are you? You're Agent 12 and your message ended with a question mark?"
Ben: "Indeed."
Maya: "Then this certainly must be THE QUESTION!"
V: "That answer is..... CORRECT.
Congratulations, Agents.
This Exam is over."
V: "Nicely done, Agents. You figured out the question, which was "Capital of NY?".
The purpose of this entire mission was about working together as a TEAM, since that's what you are, after all. This is especially an important lesson for future candidates in the field, as our 'Guard' here would agree with, right Agent A?"
'Agent A': "Right. Hello everyone- I am NOT a guard NOR the Chef of the magnificent breakfast behind the mirror. I'm actually the architect and designer of this room and task. I work for the United Nations, and my task here is to weed out applicants who cannot work in a team environment. Individuals who break easily under stress, are selfish, cannot think critically, display signs of aggression, have poor communication skills, and who don't listen to authority are eliminated from the Application Process at this point.
Thinking critically, and thus, thinking BETWEEN THE LINES, or rules, in this case, was especially prominent. It was a slow evolution to realize you had full reign of the room. Due to schooling, you assumed you couldn't talk, touch each other's exams, walk around the room, etc, but in actuality, you needed to do ALL of these things. It is not what the Invigilator said- it's what she DIDN'T say that was the key here.
Thank you everyone for participating in the first official test-run of this examination. I consider this a mighty success!"
V: "I said points were earned in the typical manner, meaning: Working together as a group to get money into the GROUP Pot. You had to share information in this challenge, even when it seemed counter intuitive. The hidden messages on all your papers were meant to distract you and cause paranoia. You had to look past that, look BEYOND those lies and learn to share information, since that was the ONLY way you'd be able to find and solve the question.
As for everything hidden beneath your chairs- those were used to point you to the idea of invisible ink:
Everyone in the first column (Agents 1-4) had ink only visible by UV light.
Everyone in the second column (Agents 5-8) had ink that needed to be oxidized by heat.
Everyone in the third column (Agents 9-12) had white ink, which became visible through colored water."
*V inserts a key into the monitor, and the mirror inverts*
V: "Oh, and the disqualified agents? They are well, and they've been watching you the entire time while feasting away. We'll let them fill you in on their side of the story, but go ahead and wave!"
Giles: "You're shitting me."
Tamela: "I want food. NOW."
V: "You only lost 60 points out of a possible 180... Each DQ'd player removed 15 points from the Group Pot, meaning you added 120 points into it today. Not bad, Agents.
...And yes, you are free to leave the room now without being disqualified. Agent A here won't stop you."
Agent A: "Maybe I will... Some of these asshats were thinking about tazing me!"
V: "But you purposefully designed this test so that the tazer was harmless, so why fret?"
Agent A: "Doesn't matter whether or not it was actually harmful. Fact of the matter is, you got a bunch of sociopaths on your hands!"
V: "I suppose time will tell on that... Anyway. Prepare yourselves, Agents. Your very first Ranking AND Execution will commence in two days. See you all then."
* * *
EVA:
"I have to say I was shocked that I was eliminated so early. I guess
I was led to believe that the exam had something to do with writing.
But still, I'm very thankful that I got to know Giles better. I think he
and I will get along just fine for the rest of our stay.
And I thoroughly enjoyed our little breakfast there. I may have gained a few pounds from eating all of that, but my grandma did always tell me that I burn food quickly, which is how I manage to stay skinny despite my appetite. I'll have to send my compliments to Mr. Burke, especially for those waffles. It helps that Mr. Burke is quite easy on the eyes too. Although I guess I'd be too young for man like him.
Oh, and the mission. It was quite clever of Tamela to have guessed the question after all those hours and scurrying."
And I thoroughly enjoyed our little breakfast there. I may have gained a few pounds from eating all of that, but my grandma did always tell me that I burn food quickly, which is how I manage to stay skinny despite my appetite. I'll have to send my compliments to Mr. Burke, especially for those waffles. It helps that Mr. Burke is quite easy on the eyes too. Although I guess I'd be too young for man like him.
Oh, and the mission. It was quite clever of Tamela to have guessed the question after all those hours and scurrying."
THE GOVERNOR:
"How do you work this stupid thing? Do I just stare into the camera?"
*Production tells the Gov to switch seats*
"Oh... Why didn't you say so? Now you've made me look like an idiot in front of thousands of people!"
*Coughs*
"So, I've been told by production I have to give a Diary room entry so here I am. I suppose what they probably want me to do is to talk shit about everyone else behind their backs for the entertainment of the viewing public, Well let me tell you this... *Points to the camera* I am many things, But false isn't one of them. If I have something to say about someone I tell them to their face, Not blab my gums off from the safety of a sound proof room like some coward!
*The Guv sits for a moment to calm himself down*
So far, I cant say there is anyone I dislike from this group. I cant say I personally like any of them either, But it is still early days, who knows? Maybe I'll make some new friends, Maybe I'll make some new enemies. They probably don't like me, which is fine, I wouldn't like me if I were them.
That brings me to neatly to the first item on the agenda: Me.
I think I will have a hard time fitting in with this group, They are all a bunch of twenty-something new age millennials who have been taught since birth to hate guys like me. That's not to say I can't fit in, just that with me being nearly 50... I might as well be ancient history. Yeah I know, I should stop feeling sorry for myself. Oh Boohoo, The old fat guy is upset, I should get over it. Well...
Item two on the agenda, The missions:
What a waste of my time, valuable time I could have been sipping OJ on the balcony and eating pancakes smothered in butter and maple syrup. I worked my ass off in that first mission to try and stay hidden, But "Surprise, Surprise" they all knew it was me. Makes me think that certain people had outside help. How else would they know for sure so soon that I was the killer?
Our latest mission was more of a success, finally gave me a chance to work with the group to find out who I can trust and who I can't. All I can say is I trust Ms. Harlow about as far as I could throw her, Miss Hansen's constant gossip mongering during the last mission makes me distrust her even more and that Elder Nugent guy gives me the creeps. Just a typical religious know-it-all who uses faith to make himself feel superior to others, I've met his sort before and I got no fear of telling him that.
*Laughs and snorts*
The others however are all very pleasant, I look forward to working with them further. That guy in the wheelchair is a decent guy, Not a bad word I can say about him yet. That Gambler women impressed me, She's got a good tactical head on her shoulders, that Mongolian guy is a very funny man and Ms. Wakefield's career in journalism intrigues me.
Anyway, That's the end of my list. Hope you TV junkies at home get a kick out of it. Now where the heck is the door? Let me out of here!"
"How do you work this stupid thing? Do I just stare into the camera?"
*Production tells the Gov to switch seats*
"Oh... Why didn't you say so? Now you've made me look like an idiot in front of thousands of people!"
*Coughs*
"So, I've been told by production I have to give a Diary room entry so here I am. I suppose what they probably want me to do is to talk shit about everyone else behind their backs for the entertainment of the viewing public, Well let me tell you this... *Points to the camera* I am many things, But false isn't one of them. If I have something to say about someone I tell them to their face, Not blab my gums off from the safety of a sound proof room like some coward!
*The Guv sits for a moment to calm himself down*
So far, I cant say there is anyone I dislike from this group. I cant say I personally like any of them either, But it is still early days, who knows? Maybe I'll make some new friends, Maybe I'll make some new enemies. They probably don't like me, which is fine, I wouldn't like me if I were them.
That brings me to neatly to the first item on the agenda: Me.
I think I will have a hard time fitting in with this group, They are all a bunch of twenty-something new age millennials who have been taught since birth to hate guys like me. That's not to say I can't fit in, just that with me being nearly 50... I might as well be ancient history. Yeah I know, I should stop feeling sorry for myself. Oh Boohoo, The old fat guy is upset, I should get over it. Well...
Item two on the agenda, The missions:
What a waste of my time, valuable time I could have been sipping OJ on the balcony and eating pancakes smothered in butter and maple syrup. I worked my ass off in that first mission to try and stay hidden, But "Surprise, Surprise" they all knew it was me. Makes me think that certain people had outside help. How else would they know for sure so soon that I was the killer?
Our latest mission was more of a success, finally gave me a chance to work with the group to find out who I can trust and who I can't. All I can say is I trust Ms. Harlow about as far as I could throw her, Miss Hansen's constant gossip mongering during the last mission makes me distrust her even more and that Elder Nugent guy gives me the creeps. Just a typical religious know-it-all who uses faith to make himself feel superior to others, I've met his sort before and I got no fear of telling him that.
*Laughs and snorts*
The others however are all very pleasant, I look forward to working with them further. That guy in the wheelchair is a decent guy, Not a bad word I can say about him yet. That Gambler women impressed me, She's got a good tactical head on her shoulders, that Mongolian guy is a very funny man and Ms. Wakefield's career in journalism intrigues me.
Anyway, That's the end of my list. Hope you TV junkies at home get a kick out of it. Now where the heck is the door? Let me out of here!"
MISSION RESULTS
BLACK LIGHT COLUMN
1) Celty: "Agent 2 is trying to start chaos and
create havoc"
2) Twiddle: “Grab the Guard's taser when things start to
get ugly in the area”
3) Tiger: “Watch your back- If you need to defend yourself, there are
scissors hidden in the Guard's cap”
4) Alleen: “Do not trust anyone wearing khaki”
HEAT SOURCE COLUMN
5) Haylo: “Clearly, AT LEAST one source is lying to you,
so be careful whom you trust”
6) Ninja: “All odd-numbered Agents are purposefully
creating paranoia”
7) Choco: “Be careful of Agent 8, they may get physical”
8) Jake: “Every
rule you hear is not entirely so”
WATER DYE COLUMN
9) Iceman: "Hold your valuables closely; someone in
this room is a thief"
10) Lo: “There’s a pit in front of the mirror, be weary
that Agent 12 doesn’t push you down”
11) Vul: “The Guard is the only person in your way”
12) Yannik: “Only ONE
person will get out of here alive… Will it be you?”
{ICEMAN, VUL, ALLEEN, & HAYLO were DISQUALIFIED, thus, 60 points were lost to the SPY STASH}
~Current Earnings~
SPY STASH: 120
GROUP POT: 260
